Homeschool Planning Series

It’s July and my thoughts are deep in planning mode for our next school year. This is my favorite part of homeschooling because I get to reimagine a flawless future in which I teach All The Things and my appreciative, well-behaved children dutifully and joyfully soak up the amazing lessons I’ve prepared for them before heading off to spend the afternoon designing a device to help blind kids learn braille.

What? That’s not your favorite part of homeschooling?

I think of planning in three steps. First, is the research and discovery phase. That’s where I comb blogs, read books, search pinterest, visit curriculum vendors online, and add 203 books to my Amazon wishlist. At the end of this phase I want to know two things:

1) What subjects I want to teach and

2) How I want to organize my year.

The second phase is where I narrow down the curriculum/resources I want to use and map out my year according to the organizational structure I chose in Phase 1.

The third phase is where I get down to the nitty gritty of planning our weeks and days. It’s my least favorite phase because my fantasies of teaching All The Things to appreciative well-behaved children is replaced by the reality of needing to feed people, take care of the house, nurse a baby and still teach my sometimes reluctant, sometimes bratty children.

 

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He’s totally going to do whatever I tell him to. Same with the little guy in the background.

But I’m still in Phase 1. Hooray! And here I will share some of the thoughts and resources I’m finding useful in case you want to fantasize – um, plan – along with me

I’m going to break Phase 1 into two posts – Choosing Subjects and Organizing the Year. Sit tight. There’s more to come!

Tell Me about the Catholic Faith for Small Children {Book Review}

This year, along with the usual assortment of crazy making candy and that magical substance that removes newspaper ink from paper and holds tight to the fibers of my couch and the seat of my pants, the Easter Bunny delivered new books for each of the children. They each received a book about the faith and a fun book. The Easter Bunny had a blast picking them out and in the process began quite a long Amazon.com wishlist of other good books for Catholic children. The Easter Bunny will now be asking Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy to help him complete his wishlist.

I told the Easter Bunny I would submit a formal review of each of the books he delivered so that he will know whether to deliver these books to other children in the future.

Tell Me about the Catholic Faith for Small Children by Christine Pedotti looked like the perfect book for a 4 year old. I was super excited when I flipped through it. It walks you through salvation history beginning with the creation story, through Noah, Abraham, the escape from Egypt, David and the Prophets. Then it takes you through the New Testament hitting all the highlights. But there are plenty of children’s Bibles that also do this and, honestly, do a better job of it.

The best part of the book, the part I was most excited about, are the last two sections titled “The Christian Faithful” and “The Catholic Faith.” “The Christian Faithful” section speaks about the early church from the first Christians through Saints from our time. It highlights missionaries, monks, and “super Saints” like John Bosco and Therese of Lisieux.

The final section, “The Catholic Faith,” is a sort of mini catechism. It talks about prayer, the sacraments, death, Christmas, Easter and the Church. It speaks to children at their level and encourages virtues such as forgiving, sharing, and welcoming.

So here’s what I like about the book. The illustrations are nice. They appeal to children without being childish. They are simple and colorful and add a lot to the text. I also really like the scope of the book. It touches on all the major topics you would want to cover with a young child. Everything is in here from creation to St. John Paul II, Christian living, the Church and the Sacraments. It makes a really great starting point for conversation.

The book’s weakness is in it’s breadth. In trying to cover all of salvation history in 93 pages with illustrations and at a level appropriate for a 3-7 year old, well, I’m not sure it can be done well. Some parts are great. The two page spread on baptism does a great job of communicating the basic form of the sacrament and the joy involved. But the one sentence summary of baptism on the sacraments’ page is pretty weak: “Through baptism, we are bathed in the love of God.” Nothing about being cleansed or purified or our need for God’s love.

There are many places in the book where it simply doesn’t make sense if you don’t have any background knowledge of the faith. Imagine you know nothing of Christianity or the Saints and that you’re 4 years old and someone reads this to you: “Clare asked Francis to cut off her long hair. She wanted to love Jesus more than anything else.” Ummm. Okay. What in the world does cutting off long hair have to do with loving Jesus? This one sentence just isn’t sufficient to properly communicate what is happening here. Also, is this the one most important thing about Saint Clare?

I was actually planning to return the book, but then I saw my 9 year old snuggled up in our rocking chair reading it to himself. He has much more context for the book than my younger children, and he really enjoys it.

In my final assessment, I would say that this book is great as a conversation starter. It might prompt you to tell your child more about St. Clare, for example. The pictures are really nice, and it brings up a lot of important stories and ideas. But it is so incomplete in it’s explanations. I would have much preferred if the author had either limited her scope or had expanded the book into a four book series going a bit more in depth into each of the four sections of this book.

I would love suggestions for a first catechism type book for 3-7 year olds with beautiful illustrations and age-appropriate explanations of our faith. And stay tuned for more reviews of the Easter Bunny’s books. There are a few I really love!

7 Things To Do While Waiting for Labor

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I just read a super annoying blog post about 7 things to do while waiting for labor. I won’t link to it because I don’t want to disparage anyone, but there was reference to a “patience hat.” Seriously?

I’m snuggled in bed with my 5 day old. My sister and a friend of mine are due any minute. I can tell you, you can only tell a woman waiting for labor to “put on her patience hat” from the safety of your computer screen over the internet. Say that to her face and you better guard yours.

Those days before going into labor are excruciating. I don’t care if it’s your 1st or your 4th. I imagine it’s the same even if it’s your 10th, but I can only speak from personal experience for the first 4.

A friend of mine described it as the worst anticipation of her life, and I would agree. That first contraction could start at any moment. It could be with the next breath – or, God help you, it could be another week or more. How in the world does anyone survive it?

So here’s my list of 7 Things to do While Waiting for Labor. I promise not to tell you to just be patient. I promise.

Find a Project
I was super on top of things this time around. My freezer was stocked, my house was ready, the baby clothes were washed, my hospital bag was packed, the laundry was caught up for crying out loud.

Stupid.

I told my husband, “I finished nesting too early. I need a project.” I wasn’t feeling any particular surge of energy, I didn’t want to do anything super physical. I looked around and decided I would finally finish the tiny details on the bathroom makeover I started almost a year ago. It involved decoupaging some pictures (I have an unnatural love of Mod Podge, at least according to my husband) and hemming a shower curtain.

I did it in small steps over a couple of days. It was perfect. I finished 6 hours before the baby was born.

Keep Making Plans
Whatever your normal routine is, just keep doing it. Whatever you do, don’t stop your life and just sit home waiting to go into labor. My sister is due in one week. I just heard from my mom that mom is babysitting so my sister could go to the DMV to get tags on her car. We had a lot of work done on our cars in the weeks before this baby was born. The day before the baby was born, I made plans to get together for a playdate the day after the baby was born. Obviously, those plans got cancelled, but having them gave me something to look forward to had I not gone into labor when I did.
Of course, if you would really rather just stay home and take a nap, for heaven’s sake do that! If you feel tired and snuggly, then rest. But if you feel antsy and restless, keep making plans.

Serve Someone Else
Stay with me a moment here. It’s not a lecture, I promise. It’s just a way to take your mind off of yourself for a bit. One of my favorite mysteries of the Rosary is “The Visitation.” It’s where we reflect on the fact that just after Mary was told she was going to be the Mother of God, she heads off to help her cousin Elizabeth through the final trimester of her pregnancy.

I remember the first time I really thought about this. I remember thinking, “Wow. This woman just found out she’s going to be the freakin’ Mother of God. And she’s pregnant – with the King of the Universe – and she’s humbly trotting off to serve her cousin.”

Because my natural instinct is to be all “I’ve got some big stuff going on here myself, so, um, yeah, I’d like to help, but I’m over here in my first trimester with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, so maybe you could ask somebody else?”

So when I’m making an effort, I try to do something nice for someone else, even when I’ve got my own stuff going on. Nothing big. But the day before I had this baby, I did make an effort to deliver one of the meals I’d frozen to a friend who’d just had a baby. It made me feel good and it took my mind off of the imminence of labor for about 15 minutes. Oh, and it gave me a chance to bitch a little to someone else about how much the end of pregnancy sucks.

Make a Date with a Friend
This is not one of those “you won’t be able to do this after the baby comes” recommendations. This is simply acknowledging that hanging with a good girl friend is a nice way to pass the time. If you have other kids and you can ditch them, great. But even if it’s a playdate in the park where you can let your kids run off while you enjoy an unseasonably warm afternoon sitting at a picnic table gabbing with a friend (thanks, Andrea!), spend some time with people who love you and whom you love. It will distract you and remind you that you have friends. This will be important for you to remember once you do finally have that baby.

Do Something you Want to Do
Again, not because all your fun is about to come to an end, but because it’s an enjoyable way to pass the time. Get a massage. Go to a movie. Go to a yoga class. Go to one of those “Sip and Paint” classes. Whatever. Spend a little time doing something fun and frivolous. Because there’s nothing worse than just waiting.

Remember You Truly Won’t be Pregnant Forever
I don’t say that flippantly. This time around there was a good part of my brain that truly believed that this was all a cruel joke. That I wasn’t actually pregnant but rather had just contracted some strange medical condition with no known cure. The miracle of life is really hard to wrap your mind around, and I think it’s possible for even sane and rational people like myself (ahem.) to start to believe that it is possible to be pregnant forever. Just because it’s never happened before doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen now. There’s a first time for everything.

If any part of that previous paragraph sounds rational to you, don’t worry. It means you’re really, really close.

Go Ahead and Bitch a Little
One of the 7 things to do in the above referenced blog post was to stop complaining. (I told you it was an annoying post!) Bollocks. The end of pregnancy is HARD. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Even under the best of circumstances, it’s still this huge thing that’s happening and some of it sucks. Yes, it’s beautiful and spiritual and miraculous. But it’s not really . . . fun. So go ahead and share some of those thoughts and feelings with that friend you’re hanging out with. Especially if she’s been there before. Don’t dwell on it, but really, it’s okay to say, “you know what? This really sucks.” And if she tells you to put on your patience hat, punch her in the nose.

 

 

Is there something wrong with my kid?

A friend came to me today with concerns about her nephew. Well, she’s not concerned, but her sister-in-law is. The child just turned three and is, apparently, a bit of a handful. She was asked not to bring him back to the church nursery unless she was going to stay with him. Ouch.

Sis-in-law is now concerned about her child. She’s wondering if he might be autistic.

Now, I obviously have the barest bone sketch of this child, and I am in no way going to attempt to offer a diagnosis. But I did want to offer some general advice to anyone wondering, “Is there something wrong with my kid?”

People who know me know that I hate the idea of labelling a kid. Especially a young kid. Especially an “all boy boy” that may just be nothing more than what I like to call “boy squared.”

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But sometimes having a label helps you find the resources you need to live in peace with your child. When a parent is struggling with a child, I like to encourage the parent to read a bit about a number of different labels and see if any of them seem to fit the child or if  any of the literature for a particular diagnosis  offers strategies that are helpful with the child.

If you do eventually decide to pursue a diagnosis or professional help, this sort of preliminary research can be really in articulating your concerns to professionals and in guiding you to the right professionals and interventions.

I’m going to recommend some of my favorite books for help with parenting the child that makes you ask “what in the world is wrong with my child?” The books are written for kids with a variety of labels, and if you have a kid that makes you scratch your head or throw your hands up in despair, you might find that one or more of them describes your child and helps you better understand his behavior.

3yearold

Your n-Year-Old. These books (Your One-Year-Old, Your Two-Year-Old, etc.) are classics in child development. They are small, quick reads, and they will almost certainly leave you feeling that someone has been peeping in your windows and watching your child. These books are a great place to start because you may just find that your child’s behavior is completely within the realm of normal. These are not parenting books or how to books, they simply describe typical child behavior. Parents almost always find them very reassuring reads.

spirited

Raising Your Spirited Child. The “spirited trait” will often apply to any child causing a parent frustration. I love this book because it helps normalize the spirited behavior, helps explain the motivation for it, and helps a parent start to value their child’s temperament rather than fight against it. It’s a great place to start for a parent who is struggling. I offer a full review of this book here.

explosive

The Explosive ChildI love this book. I hate the title, but I love the book. This is a really solid, really readable introduction to understanding difficult behavior in children. If your kids seems impervious to time-outs, ‘natural consequences,’ and all of the other traditional advice offered up by parenting books, read this book. It will give you a whole new way of approaching your child’s challenging behavior. The strategies respects and empowers both child and adult. This is a great read.

outofsync

The Out of Sync Child Has FunThis is the companion book to The Out of Sync Child, the original, definitive “text book” on sensory processing disorder. I like “…. Has Fun” because it is a very practical guide with lots of suggestions for things to do with your child. The first chapter  defines and explains sensory processing disorder, and the rest of the book has super fun, super do-able activities that let you provide occupational therapy for your child at home. As with the “spirited” label, a lot of kids with “issues” will have “sensory issues.” This book will help you figure out if your child does, and if so, what you can start to do about it.

intensity

Living with IntensityThis is a great introduction to gifted children. I find that many parents don’t understand that their uber intense, seemingly scattered, and even destructive children are actually gifted kids who don’t present in the typical “reading-at-age-3” way. It’s worth considering that this is what’s going on with your child.

misdiagnosis

Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, Ocd, Asperger’s, Depression, and Other Disorders. Gifted kids are often misdiagnosed as having one of these ‘popular’ diagnoses. It’s also not uncommon for a gifted child to also have one of these disorders. (Google ‘twice exceptional’ for tons of information on this.) This book gives a good description of each of these disorders, explains why children are often diagnosed with one of these disorders rather than identified as gifted, and helps a parent start to tease out if their kid might gifted, have the disorder, or both. This is a good overview of these common childhood issues. It doesn’t claim that every child with this disorder is gifted, or that these disorders don’t actually exist. It just helps a parent start to sort out what might be going on with their kid.

Okay. That’s enough. If you can even skim these books, you’ll have a much better understanding of what might be ‘wrong’ with your kid. You’ll have some new tools in your belt, and you’ll have a  better idea of what you might want to Google the next time you ask, ‘what in the world is wrong with my kid?!?!’

How do you keep calm and homeschool on?

This was the question posed on one of my homeschool forums. Someone was asking for help in taming her temper. She wanted to hear from people who have real tempers (that’s me) and who have conquered them (that’s not me). Even though I am not a picture of perfect, peaceful motherhood (oh how I long to be that mother), under an amazing spiritual director I have made some steps in that direction. Here is what I shared with the other group.

I most definitely have a temper. Here are some things that have helped. Although please know, it is not conquered. And honestly, I think if that’s your goal, you will always be beating up on yourself. Try to make your goal “improvement” and  thank God for each small improvement.

 Spiritual direction helped tremendously. One of the things that came out for me is the motivation for order. I want a calm organized house, but the purpose should be toward family harmony. And if I am throwing a temper tantrum because things aren’t calm and organized, I’m not working toward family harmony, I’m contributing to the chaos around me.

These great little books: The 30 Days with a Great Spiritual Teacher Series | Ave Maria Press They’re bite sized and perfect for a quick 5 minutes in the morning, but also provide enough to sit and chew on for a good 30 minutes in the morning if I have the time.

Early to bed and early to rise. Getting up at least an hour before my kids helps my sanity so, so, much. I start with a little prayer, and then get my day organized before anyone else gets up. It was hard at first, but now it’s my favorite part of my day.
Really looking at my kids. So often I’m just trying to get through my day, but when I really stop and look at my children, I realize how little they are and how much I love them. Just taking a moment to really see my children has done more to develop my joy in parenting than any other parenting practice. With practice, I have gotten to the point where I can sometimes even do this when I’m about to lose it with them. It helps me to stop, remember my goal is family harmony, and to respond with love and a touch more patience than my natural instinct.
Also from my spiritual director, I am constantly trying to practice responding rather than reacting. I find if I can just take a deep breath, even better if I can remember to say a quick prayer, and attempt to respond with some bit of self control rather than to just let it fly (which feels so good in the moment, but so, so awful later), I can usually come up with a better response than my initial impulse.

 And finally I have had to learn to accept my humanness. I am not perfect, I fall constantly. Daily. A confessor once told me, “When you fall, get up quickly.” So that is what I try to do. Jesus loves me and he doesn’t want me to wallow in self-hatred. He wants me to pick myself up and try again. And again. Tiny steps toward improvement. A trust that Jesus will make it all okay. And a willingness to keep on keeping on.

Clash of Desires: Follow the schedule or go to the farm?

When I began this little project of getting more organized, more intentional, and more disciplined in my homeschooling vocation, one of the things that concerned me was how this would interplay with the freedom I have as a homeschooler to do the fun stuff. In the past, we have spent a lot of time going on field trips, and the fall, in particular, is a time when I like to literally “head for the hills” with my children to soak in the glory that is October in Colorado.

But this year we have a schedule. And not just a schedule. We have a Classical Conversations co-op. With assignments. And teachers. And due dates.

And it’s a lot.

A couple of weeks ago I had a slight breakdown about the new character of our homeschool. It’s harvest festival time, and every year for the last four years we have gone to the farm with friends to harvest a car load of vegetables, ride on tractors, climb into broken old cars and fire trucks and amusement park rides, and slide down an enormous dirt hill on Tonka trucks. (If you are in Colorado and you haven’t been to the Miller Farms harvest festival, you are missing out. Go.)

As I cried to my husband about how we don’t have time to do the fun stuff anymore and it’s not fair to my littler ones and maybe this whole thing isn’t working out after all, he looked at me and said, “You know, going to the farm is just as important to their education as the book work you’re doing.” And he’s right. And I know he’s right. And that’s my dilemma. Because we still have a Classical Conversations co-op. With assignments. And teachers. And due dates.

But I decided to rage against the machine and get the gang together for a trip to the farm. We picked our day (yesterday) and as I put it on the calendar I realized that I have another big field trip scheduled this week. On Wednesday we’re going to a glorious Colorado nature park to have a park ranger teach us about bugs and the riparian eco-system.

At the farm

No trouble,  I thought. We’ll work ahead this weekend to get the co-op assignments ready. It will be fine. But Saturday we went to the Harvest Festival at the historic park near our house. (No actual harvesting happens here, but there are stagecoach rides. And apple cider doughnuts. I go for the doughnuts.) Saturday afternoon Helen and I went to see the Midsummer Night’s Dream ballet with my lovely and generous sister-in-law and my niece.

Sunday morning was church and hanging out afterwards with friends. Sunday afternoon was taken up with “daddy time” for each of the kids. (Our lives are not usually this jam-packed with fun stuff, it’s just a good week!)

So here it is Tuesday morning and we have basically one day to do all of the assignments we normally spread out over 5 or 6 days.

And I just don’t know if it’s going to happen. And I don’t know what I’m going to do if it doesn’t.

The consequences won’t be dire. Henry won’t get his stickers toward his end of the year prize. He won’t have a stellar presentation for class. He may not have a final draft (or even a rough draft, honestly) to share in his writing class and won’t receive tickets for the end of the year carnival.

I’m stuck with this internal struggle to conform to someone else’s standard. I feel resentful of having my child manipulated by peer pressure and token systems. I feel torn between appreciating the structure and accountability this co-op offers as I endeavor to improve the academic part of our homeschool, and resenting the loss of freedom to take things at our own pace.

I don’t know how this all will shake out. When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

The Phonetic Zoo {Curriculum Review}

This year we are using quite a bit of curriculum from the Institute for Excellence in Writing. We’re using Primary Arts of Language for Helen’s phonics, Teaching Writing: Structure and Style for Henry’s writing program with our co-op group, and The Phonetic Zoo for Henry’s spelling.

Andrew Pudewa, president of IEW has been a mentor of mine from the beginning of my homeschool career when I saw him speak at the Rocky Mountain Catholic Home Educators Conference. The talk that most inspired me, Teaching Boys & Other Children Who Would Rather Make Forts All Day,  is available on his website for a couple of bucks and is totally worth a listen.

There are many things I like about the IEW materials. First, they are all based on reaching auditory learners as well as visual learners. This can be hard to find, particularly in language materials which are often highly visual. Second, the folks at IEW totally get kids – lessons are short, interactive, and based on quick mastery of tiny pieces of information. Pudewa understands that kids want to do what they think they can do, and will often refuse to do anything they think will be too hard.

I have heard others describe IEW materials as “intense” or “parent heavy,” but I think these people may be falling into a common trap of homeschoolers – failing to use the curriculum as a tool and allowing it to be your master. I like the materials because they provide you with a lot of really good material to teach. However, the authors also frequently and insistently encourage you to use the materials as they best suit you and your child. Attempting to cram a lot of information into a passive and even resistant mind is NOT what IEW is about. If it takes you a week to get through a single day’s lesson plan, your child is still greatly benefiting from this high quality material, and you are in no way failing as a homeschooler. Why use subpar material just because the pace is slower? Why not set your own pace using quality tools?

I like Andrew Pudewa and the IEW materials so much, that Pudewa is a household name here. In fact, my son thinks I like him a little too much. During a particularly challenging Phonetic Zoo lesson, my son threw down his headphones and launched into the following tirade.

“This is too hard! I can’t do it! Why do you even like Pudewa so much? You like Pudewa more than you like your own family! You worship him like he’s some sort of god!”

Ahem. I guess I shouldn’t have been so upset when this child chose not to enroll in our enrichment program’s theater class. Clearly, he is already quite skilled in drama.

Fortunately, using some of the skills I’ve learned from Master Pudewa, I was able to navigate this little bump in the road and get us back on track.

So onto the nitty gritty of the Phonetic Zoo. The program is intended for students beginning in 4th grade and is designed to be self-teaching. It comes with an audio CD that the child listens to for each lesson.  Each lesson consists of two audio tracks as well as a large card printed with the lesson’s spelling rule, a list of spelling words, and a picture of an animal or two whose names also illustrate the spelling rule (for example, caiman and ray for the ai/ay lesson).

When the child sits down to do his spelling lesson, he listens to the audio CD with headphones to minimize distractions and to help channel the information directly into his brain. The audio lesson consists the spelling rule repeated every 3-5 words, followed by dictation of the spelling words. The child writes each of the 15 spelling words as they are dictated while also listening repeatedly to the spelling rule. The following track is a self-check with the proper spelling of each word dictated back to the child. The whole thing takes about 10 minutes. As a mastery program, the child repeats the lesson every day until he spells each of the 15 words correctly. This might take one day or a couple of weeks. Once he has mastered the list, he receives a small trading card with a picture of the lesson’s animals on it.

I want to note that these cards are not childish. They have nice line drawings of interesting animals. The program is designed for later elementary kids, and it does not insult them with cartoonish, childish trading cards.

This program has been brilliant for us for three reasons. First, it is something Henry can do entirely on his own. Second, it is short and finite – Henry knows exactly how long it will take and when it’s done, it’s done. This is key for a kid who has trouble focusing on school work. Finally, Henry is a highly auditory learner, so hearing the words spelled back to him is essential. Incidentally, Pudewa asserts that this piece is critical for any type of learner because when we just look at words we don’t really see the order of the letters. You can learn more about the theory behind the program here.

The one bump we hit in the road, the one that prompted the aforementioned accusations of my preternatural adoration of Andrew Pudewa, was caused by my failing to properly introduce the lesson. Henry had done such a good job with lesson one, that I thought I could get away with just throwing lesson two at him with no introduction. While it is a self-teaching program, if your child is a particularly poor speller (as mine is), there are a number of ways you can introduce the lesson to help him succeed. First, you can read through the large lesson card together and have him copy the list of words while saying each letter out loud. Second, you could simply have him listen to the second track of the lesson and write each word as it’s proper spelling is dictated. He could even do this for several days until he is confident enough in his ability to pass the “test.” The point is to learn the material, not to make your kid cry.

While we are only on lesson three (that second lesson took a loooong time to master!) I have seen an improvement in Henry’s spelling, and more importantly, in his confidence around spelling. I really like the self-paced mastery approach because by the time a child can spell the more challenging words, all of the words are solidly cemented in his brain.

I highly recommend this program for anyone teaching spelling, especially if you hate teaching spelling or if your child has struggled with it in the past.

 

Our Homeschool Schedule: Lessons Learned

We’ve been using our homeschool schedule now for about six weeks, and I want to highlight some of the things I’ve learned from the experience. For the most part, it is working as I hoped – sometimes even better. Here are the tips I would share with anyone else trying to make a major change like this.

Take baby steps
One thing I’ve learned repeatedly is that if I try to change everything at once, I will fail. I will burn out, get discouraged, and give up. I took a good 4-6 weeks to plan this schedule, and another 4-6 weeks to implement it. When I began living the plan, I started with getting up early and going to Jazzercise 3 days a week. My next step was to start getting the kids up at 7:15. I then added the morning group school (what we call Morning Time). Once each piece became routine, I added a new piece. Because we were moving from an anything goes free-for-all to a day of expectations and requirements, I felt it was critical to go slowly. This helped me to feel successful instead of defeated.

Get up early
I know. Everyone says this. And it makes me groan too. I have been dragging my butt out of bed 3 mornings a week at 5:30 so I can get to Jazzercise by 6am. Hard, but so worth it. I love having that workout out of the way, and it wakes me up and gets me ready to face the troops when I get back home at 7:15. On Tuesday and Thursday, I’m up at 6 for some office/quiet time. I spend 5-20 minutes of this time praying, depending on the day. This is one of my favorite times of the day. It’s all about nourishing my mind, body, and soul so that I can take care of others with a full tank.

I’m glad I started the schedule implementation by working on my own wake time. It was quite an adjustment, but what those all those annoyingly chipper bloggers say about getting up before your family is true. It really does make the day run more smoothly. 

Go to bed early
I had been in the bad habit of staying up later and later each night because it was the only free time I had. The problem was, it was never really “free.” I was too damn tired from the day to do much of anything except maybe fold a load of laundry while staring blearily at a mild-amusing sitcom streaming on my Roku. Or I was taking care of a few last minute details for the next day. Or I was tucking naughty kids back into bed for the 457th time.

We’ve been getting the kids tucked in by 8 the last few days and it’s heavenly. I still have just enough energy to have a conversation with my husband, or read a little, or fold that laundry and enjoy a sitcom. And then I can go to bed at 9, be asleep by 9:30 and still get in 8 hours before my 5:30 Jazzercise alarm.

I will say that if you are a night owl and can truly use your night hours in a way that recharges you and still get up and face your family when you need to, then by all means ignore this. I will add though, my best friend, a consummate night owl, is the one who finally convinced me that getting up early is the way to go. She started doing it and talking about how great it is. This from the girl who  cursed at the morning radio show host when my clock radio alarm would go off at 8 o’clock when we were in the dorms together.

Discipline and consistency are key
To really make this work, I’ve seen that I absolutely must stick to the schedule every day. When the kids know that this is what’s happening at this time and there’s no getting out of it, they’re much more likely to get with the program. They have all tested me. Because I’ve given up and thrown in the towel on things like this so many times in the past, I think they’ve all expected this to be one more thing they could get out of if they made it unpleasant enough for me. After a few weeks, they’re all getting the message that this is the way we do things now, and there’s no since in fighting it. An incentive program for my oldest has been especially helpful. Also, consistent expectations for my three year old during school time.

One of the things I changed after realizing this is we now do our Morning Time routine at the kitchen table 3 mornings a week. I had planned to do school in the car on the way to my parent’s house once a week, but I found that doing at least an abbreviated version at home before we leave makes more sense.

Discipline applies to me as well. If I don’t get up early and do what I’m supposed to, the day doesn’t run as smoothly. If I don’t plan meals or start dinner on time, bed time is a mess. The more I follow the plan, the more smoothly things run and the more fun and free time I have.

Plan ahead and be prepared
I’m using several curriculum resources that spell out exactly what and when to do things, and so I thought I could get away with just doing the next thing each morning without any planning ahead. However, I have found that the day runs much more smoothly if I write out exactly what I want to cover each day and put it all in one place. I’ve resisted lesson plans for 4 years, but now find them necessary. Sometimes I want to do more or less of something than is assigned for that day. Sometimes I forget some small but critical piece (like handwriting). Making a written lesson plan helps me feel more in control and less scattered. It also keeps me from just blowing something off for the day.

 Screen time during school hours is a Bad Idea
At least in our family. Our original schedule had bits of screen time scattered throughout the day for each of the kids. I’ve done away with that. The new rule is that, unless it’s been specifically assigned for school, you may not use a screen before 4pm. I found that it was too easy for the kids to stretch the screen time – and for me to let them because it was easy for me. Then there would be fights about turning it off, and it made transitioning through our day too contentious. What was screen time for each kid is now free time. Once 4pm rolls around, they can pretty much glut themselves until about 6 when I ask them to do some chores before dinner.

For the most part, I’m super pleased with the way things are going, and I’m happy I stuck with the bumps that came with making a big change. I feel much better about the way we spend our days, and my kids seem happier too.

 

Using Incentives in Your Homeschool

Yesterday was an agonizing day. I had a certain amount of work I wanted my oldest to achieve. Grueling assignments such as writing 6 sentences and completing a 10 minute spelling lesson. Finishing 5 problems on Khan Academy. You know, things that clearly no reasonable person would ask a 4th grader to do.

There was drama. There were tears. There was eye rolling and yelling. There were threats. And there was googling of schools for kids with ADD.

And I found the school. And if we started eating ramen and selling our blood, we might be able to afford the school.

But I thought, if this school can do it, then it can be done. There are methods they use that I can learn too, right?

I know from my history with this child that he responds exceedingly well to incentives. He used to chew on his shirt. Constantly. I told him if he went three weeks without chewing on his shirt, he could have the Lego Movie video game for the XBox. He never chewed on his shirt again. It was infuriatingly simple. If it was that easy for him to stop, why didn’t he just stop before?

Smart But Scattered, a great book on how to help kids with executive functioning challenges, had taught me that working for incentives is actually an executive functioning strength that my son has. If the price is right, can do just about anything.

Here’s the thing. I HATE incentives. I feel like if you can do something, you should just do it because it’s the right thing to do. It seems to me, that if you can do something for an incentive, then you can do it, and you should do it without a reward.

But apparently, doing the right thing, or just getting it done, is not enough of an incentive for my son to leave behind the incredibly exciting world in his imagination to write 6 sentences about the lost colony of Roanoke. Because sitting in a chair all day really isn’t torture for him. His mind is a fascinating place to be, and it keeps him perfectly well entertained.

This morning he woke up asking what he could do to earn more money. He has finally developed an appreciation for all of the useless crap amazing treasures money can buy him. Like machetes with fake blood and nerf guns and large books from the thrift store that he can turn into secret hiding spots. This is great because when a kid wants money, a parent can generally get him to do things he might not otherwise do willingly.

I told him I’d think about it. I’m a bit of a miser, and I don’t want to just go handing money out like some kind of money fairy or something. I mean, it doesn’t grow on trees now, does it?

It wasn’t long before I’d asked him to do something and he gave me attitude about it. Inspiration. “Every time I have to ask you to do something more than once, you owe me a quarter.”

Ha! See? I’m making money this way, not handing it out.

Later, we were doing school work and he started whining “It’s too hard!” Boom. “Every time you whine about school work, you owe me a quarter.”

I ran down to the basement and grabbed a bag of poker chips and two paper cups. I wrote “Henry” on one of them and “Mom” on the other. I filled the “Henry” cup with 20 poker chips – each worth a quarter. I took two quarters for his earlier infractions.

Because I’ve been trained in such things I know that a strictly punitive system is not likely to be effective for long. So I started offering incentives. “If you write 4 sentences before I come back downstairs, I’ll give you a quarter.” Because I’m a mean mom, I am incapable of a strictly rewards based system. So along with the carrot I proffered a stick. “If you haven’t written at least 2, you owe me a quarter.”

I told him, “Each chip is a quarter. There are five dollars worth of chips in here. You can gain and lose them based on your behavior, and I will pay you on Sunday. Each Monday morning you’ll start out with 20 new chips.” And that, ladies and gentleman, is a glowing example of my stellar making-it-up-as-I-go-along parenting. 

But you know what? He finished everything I wanted him to do by noon. Yesterday, we didn’t finish until five o’clock. That’s right, I bought five hours of extra time with my system. Not bad for 5 bucks.

I will admit, though, that I’m still uncomfortable with the system. I have learned repeatedly that this sort of thing is super effective for my son, but I’ve also read enough Alfie Kohn to feel that this sort of “manipulation” is somehow damaging to my son or to our relationship.

And so I struggle between what I desperately want to believe philosophically, and what I see creates peace and harmony and a happy son in reality.

I’m curious. Have any of you have had success with using incentives in your homeschool? Did it create any unintended consequences that caused problems down the line?

Sandbox Scientist: Real Science Activities for Little Kids {Book Review}

If you’ve been following my posts on scheduling, you may have noticed that Thomas and Henry have a block called “Science Box Time.” This is a time of open ended science exploration facilitated by the handy little book Sandbox Scientist: Real Science Activities for Little Kids.

sandbox scientist

I first discovered this book when I randomly checked it out from the library. I loved it, returned it, and forgot the name of it. A bit later I despaired when  I couldn’t recall the name of it. All of my vague descriptions to the nice librarian and her creative searches yielded nothing. Then one day the title just came to me and I immediately jumped on Amazon and ordered my own copy of it.

This book is very nearly perfect for teaching science to young children. And by young, I mean anywhere from age 2 up to middle school.

In the early years, science is not about learning scientific facts. It is about the formation of scientific habits. It’s learning to think like a scientist. Science is learning to ask questions and to look for the answers through exploration and observation. Raising a scientist involves nurturing curiosity, and encouraging creativity. It means empowering children to discover, learn, and prove things for themselves rather than just accepting what they’re told.

Science asks “Why? Really? What happens if I. . . ? How do you know? Show me. Let me see. Let me try. Prove it.” Science sounds an awful lot like an impudent teenager.

Sandbox Scientist provides a list of science boxes you can assemble yourself that encourage children to ask these questions and to seek the answers for themselves through exploration and observation. The boxes work perfectly in a home environment because the materials they call for are cheap and easy to find.

I am using the book to plan out six weeks worth of boxes at a time. For our first six weeks I went through and pulled boxes calling for water. This is not because I’m doing a water theme (though you could certainly use the book that way), but rather because I want to take advantage of the warm weather while we’ve got it. By assembling six weeks worth of boxes at a time, I can make one trip to the hardware store and/or dollar store to get what we need and put everything together at one time. My boxes are now ready to go when I need them.

Yesterday my kids played with the Ice Box. One of the best things about the ideas in this book is that they are suitable for my 3 year old and my 9 year old. They approach the material in different ways, and they learn from each other in the process.

The Ice Box contained large blocks of ice made from yogurt tubs and 1/2 gallon milk cartons, spoons, forks, knives, paint brushes, watercolor paint, and squirt bottles of warm water. I put it all out in a couple of large aluminum trays on a sheet in the back yard and invited the kids out to play.

[pe2-image src=”http://lh5.ggpht.com/-XowHUEWOcGw/U_XtwAaXkVI/AAAAAAAAEWE/fxHT0BoPuBQ/s144-o/IMAG1259.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/107257479592166177418/20140818?authkey=7zpGA5U9QqA#6050003083442229586″ caption=”” type=”image” alt=”IMAG1259.jpg” ] [pe2-image src=”http://lh5.ggpht.com/-00po8OJQKSM/U_Xt2CdXo4I/AAAAAAAAEWQ/qN8wYfTu-GU/s144-o/IMAG1258.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/107257479592166177418/20140818?authkey=7zpGA5U9QqA#6050003187070903170″ caption=”” type=”image” alt=”IMAG1258.jpg” ] [pe2-image src=”http://lh6.ggpht.com/-5QD65SYJpoE/U_Xt79rZkDI/AAAAAAAAEWc/u0XrkxgKb7Y/s144-o/IMAG1257.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/107257479592166177418/20140818?authkey=7zpGA5U9QqA#6050003288866787378″ caption=”” type=”image” alt=”IMAG1257.jpg” ]

The children had a blast observing the different properties of the ice. “This block is clear!” “This one is cloudy!” “Hey look, this one has holes in it?” “Let’s make the hole bigger.”

They also enjoyed painting the ice and watching the patterns of the swirls as the painted ice melted. They observed the effects of spraying a stream of water on the ice blocks versus spraying a mist of ice onto them. They enjoyed chipping and chiseling the ice into smaller pieces to make them melt faster.

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The boys did not happen to discover that they could melt the ice more quickly by using the magnifying glasses to focus the sun’s heat onto the ice. I think a small suggestion from me on using the magnifying glasses in this way could have extended the exploration a bit. As it was, they worked with the science box for a good 20 minutes before it devolved into a squirt bottle fight in the back yard. All in all, I thought our first science box was a success.

 

 

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