Why you should consider a schedule for your homeschool

If you know me or have followed my blog at all, you know that I have always tended toward a relaxed, unschool-ish, laissez-faire approach to my kids’ education. You probably also know that I have flirted with curriculum on and off, and that part of me has always longed for a more predictable routine and, yes, even schedule.

At the beginning of last year I had big plans. I made a really impressive Excel spreadsheet that laid out our week for us from 7am to 8pm each day. I scheduled 20 minutes for phonics, 20 minutes for math, etc. It all looked so nice on paper. And parts of it did go smoothly. The kids loved morning recess. Though I usually wanted to use that time to do a few chores.

We gave it the good college try for about a month before I threw in the towel and decided that our homeschool schedule now consisted of a math lesson and some handwriting. Eventually I just insisted on math. And then there was the day it took us two hours of screaming and crying to get through a Saxon math lesson. I should note that only my oldest was required to do school. The other two kids could do whatever they wanted. Which usually involved staring at a screen.

Despite my greatest hopes and desires, most days simply deteriorated into either tears or screens or both. I didn’t feel good about what we were doing, but I didn’t have the energy to change course. “You guys want to play a game? Or read a book? Or go for a walk?” was usually met with “Nah. I’m watching My Little Pony. Or Pokemon. Or Thomas the Train.” And so I spent a little more time scrolling through Facebook.

This isn’t how I imagined homeschooling would be. I imagined science experiments and read alouds and nature walks. And we did those things. We did a lot of great stuff and learned a lot. My kids even learned stuff from My Little Pony and Pokemon and Thomas the Train. I’m not saying they didn’t.

But on those days when we had no plan – no field trip, no co-op, no park days, no play-dates, no science club – we all felt at loose ends. I wanted, as my friend Clea wrote so eloquently, to put the “home” back in our homeschool.

And then a woman whom I like and admire on our local Catholic homeschooling board recommended the book Managers of Their Homes. She described her homeschooling days, and it sounded much closer to my dreams for my family. Now, I know we should keep our eyes on our own paper. I know that what works for her and her 7 girls won’t work for me and my motley crew, but the book promised to help me create a custom schedule for my family.

So with a bit of fear and trepidation, I bought it. And I read it. Slowly. And prayerfully. I watched my anxiety ebb and flow as I processed the lessons. And I began to see the wisdom and the peace of having a predictable daily routine.

What’s great about this book (and I’m not an affiliate so I’m not trying to sell you anything here) is that it really baby steps you through it. It has you think about all of the things you want to fit into your day for yourself and each of your children. It has you prioritize. And it asks you to be realistic about how much time there is in a day. It reminds you that God does not give you more to do than you can fit into the 24 hours in a day He gives you. So if you don’t have enough time, you’re not following God’s plan for you. That one was hard to stomach. My schedules hand’t worked in the past because I didn’t start in the right place – with God’s plan for my family and with respect for the limits on my time.

As I was reading Managers of Their Homes, I was also reading Teaching from Rest by Sarah Mackenzie (again, not an affiliate). There is much wisdom and gentleness in this book. One of major points was that each interruption to our schedules is a visit from Our Lord. Each time a child needs us to tie a shoe or wipe a bottom or “look at a really cool block tower I just built,” it is Jesus asking us to look up from our own agenda and meet Him in our day.

Reading these two books together really pushed me to think about finding the balance between having a predictable routine and schedule on the one hand, and being a slave to my planner and the clock on the other.

I confess that this is never a line I have walked well. I have some OCD tendencies, am prone to anxiety, like to have everything “under control,” and can become a cruel task master when trying to follow a plan. I tend to waffle between anal-retentive-Type-A-crazy-woman and it-can’t-be-perfect-so-I-give-up-anything-goes sloth.

It has been a constant spiritual battle for me to come to a place where I believe I have a reasonable chance – with much prayer and God’s continued out-pouring of grace – to approach a plan like this without making myself crazy or my family resentful.

If you’d like some help getting started with thinking about a schedule/routine that will work for you and your family, I’d love to walk you through the process and share what I’ve learned. Check out my Homeschool Consulting page for more information on working with me. It is always my goal to encourage and inspire you on your homeschooling journey.

15 Favorite Catholic Hymns

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Part of our Morning Time this year will be learning a hymn each term. We will listen to a beautiful performance of the chosen hymn and then sing it every day of the term during Morning Time. I’ll also provide sheet music so the kids can learn to “read” the sheet the music. At this point I just want them to see the pattern of the notes going up and down with our voices, and start to see the different counts of the different kinds of notes.

I asked the members of my local Catholic Homeschooling group to share their three favorite hymns with me. I got quite a huge response, and noticed there were many that were cited over and over again. I thought you all might also appreciate a handy resource for favorite hymns. So here you go. In no particular order.

Holy God We Praise Thy Name (this was easily the most often mentioned) Here’s the sheet music.

Oh, Lord I Am Not Worthy

Jesus, My Lord, My God, My All

The King of Love My Shepherd Is

Alleluia Sing to Jesus

Immaculate Mary

Faith of Our Fathers

Angels We Have Heard on High

Ave Maria

Soul of My Saviour

All Creatures of Our God and KingHail Holy Queen (Some might not like this less traditional version, but I think it’s great.)

Be Thou My Vision (And here’s a beautiful instrumental version.)

Hail Mary, Gentle Woman

Prayer of St. Francis

Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee (And because I love flash mobs, here’s a great one that makes me cry every time I see it.)

Please do share your favorite hymns and links to favorite versions of the ones listed here. I had such a lovely morning putting together this post and listening to beautiful music!

Homeschooling with Preschoolers: Plan for 2014-2015

I’m trying something new this year. I’ll have a 4th grader that I’m starting more formal work with, a 1st grader who will be doing very light school, a preschooler who is just along for the ride, and halfway through the year I’ll have a newborn. And possibly a nervous breakdown. I’ll keep you posted.

One of my challenges in thinking about this year was to figure out what to do with my preschooler while trying to teach my 1st and 4th graders. 

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I have always been a very relaxed schooler, but as I’m looking at meeting the needs of all my children at their different levels, I’m trying something new this year. I’m trying more structure, more routine, and more curriculum. I have spent the summer praying and planning and have come up with a plan that I am praying will work. I have felt God’s hand guiding me through this process and putting resources in my path that have helped me to get really clear about what we need to do this year. 

The two books that have most informed my thinking this summer are Managers of Their Homes by Steven and Teri Maxwell and Teaching From Rest by Sarah Mackenzie (note, there are no affiliate links in this post, I get no kick back if you buy any of this stuff).

Managers of Their Homes walks you through a detailed and prayerful process of creating a schedule for your family and your home school, and Teaching From Rest reminds you that anxiety has no place in the home school. The two books complement and balance each other nicely, and together helped me get clear about how to create routine and structure without becoming a slave to a schedule and the clock. 

I never intended to create such a detailed schedule for my kids. But I’ve noticed how they thrive on the schedule at their weekly enrichment program, and how much more smoothly the more routine parts of our days go. So I made a schedule. 

The Plan

This is what the schedule looks like for my 3 1/2 year old.

7:15 – 8:15 Morning chores

This is simple for my 3 1/2 year old – just getting dressed, brushing his teeth, and eating breakfast. He loves to help me make breakfast.
8:15 – 9:15 Group school
This is school for all my kids together. We’re using Book Shark for history and science so this time will be mostly read alouds. We’ll also do some math with Life of Fred. The preschooler will be free to play quietly in the room with us with blocks or legos or trains or drawing or whatever.  If he can’t be quiet, he will be asked to play in his room. I expect this to take practice and discipline, but I’m hoping once it’s routine, it will be easier. He generally likes to listens to stories, so I’m hopeful this will go okay.
9:15 – 9:45 Outside time
This is 30 minutes in the backyard with the other two kiddos while I do some morning chores.
9:45 – 10:15 Preschool with mom
I am typically anti-curriculum for preschoolers, but I wanted him to have some intentional attention from me early in the day. I’m going to try Flowering Baby. I chose this because it looks flexible, not too focused on academics, and very doable. I don’t intend to follow it to the letter but rather to use it as a handy guide so I don’t have to be terribly creative in planning this time with him. The activities look like things I do with him anyway, but saves me the hassle of having to think too hard about things.
10:15 – 10:45 Morning School 
This is my nod to Morning Basket Time as described by Jennifer Mackintosh at Wildflowers and Marbles. Jennifer describes her original conception of this time as ” a basket of inspiration that could be ageless in its offerings, that spanned abilities, that spoke to beauty and loveliness, and gave the day an inspiring start.” I plan to use this time to share art, music, hymns, and our faith with the children.
10:45 – 11:15 Science Box Time
This will be Thomas’s special time with Henry, my oldest. I’m using the book Sandbox Scientist to put together some free exploration boxes that should be able to keep the boys busy together for 30 minutes while I work one-on-one with Helen. The secret to making this successful will be 1) planning ahead and making sure I have everything ready to go and 2) teaching expectations for this time. The science boxes in this book are super cool, hands-on, and totally open ended, so I’m hopeful this will be a great time for both of the boys.
11: 15 – 12:15 Sensory Time with Helen
This will be some sort of play dough, or very simple open ended craft, or sensory bin activity. I like the creative invitations at the Tinker Lab site for this because they are simple and fun. I am also planning to rely heavily on Pinterest for this time. I’ll be pinning stuff here.
 
Lunch
1:00 – 1:30 Screen time
He’ll be able to play on the Kindle or play Starfall, or watch a show on the laptop. This is my prayer and reflection time, so we’ll likely be in my bed or on the sofa together. So this will also be some mama time for him.
1:30 – 2:00 Rest
He really should still nap, but he doesn’t. He desperately needs this midday rest. I have little hope that he’ll take to this idea easily, so this is also my rest time and we’ll lay down together. The screen will be put away, but he’ll be allowed to look at books or listen to music or audio books.
2:00 – 2:30 Time with Mom
 This will be one-on-one time for us to play whatever he wants. We’ll probably be building train tracks.
2:30 – 3:00 Play alone in office
The “office” is where his favorite toys are and all of the messy supplies. During this time Helen gets her alone time with me and Henry gets his computer time. Thomas likes to watch Henry play on the computer, so he can also do that during this time. I’m hoping this will work because he’s just had an hour and a half of time with me just prior to this. This is perhaps the most critical time for him to leave me alone because my poor middle child really needs some one-on-one mama time.
3:00 – 4:00 Outside time
This is Helen’s outside time too. It’s my phone call and reading time which I plan to do from a chair outside so I can keep an eye on them
while they ride bikes and such, and so they don’t feel abandoned. I won’t be playing with them though.
4:00 – 4:30 Screen time
Each of my kids gets 3 blocks of 30 minutes for screen time. This is Thomas’s second block. It’s scheduled so there’s no fighting about who gets to pick the show or use the computer.
4:30 – 5:00 Afternoon chores
This is helping with a general whole house pick-up as well as tidying his room and possibly another small, “real” chore like collecting eggs. Once he’s done with whatever it is, he can go back outside.
5:00 until 6:00 or Dinner Time
As long as the weather is nice and it’s not dark too early the kids will usually play outside with the neighbor kids until dinner time at 6:00. I will also hopefully have a mother’s helper once a week or so which should take the edge off when the weather is bad or it’s getting dark early and the kids need to play inside. Thomas can also choose to have his last block of screen time at 6:00.
If looking at this overwhelms you, keep in mind that I created this after a whole lot of prayer and reflection. It’s based on the very specific needs and interests of my family. The plan you have for your family should look different because your family is different. What I hope you take away from this post is the idea that some careful thought to the needs of your preschooler and a little bit of advanced planning can help you fit him into your home schooling day.

You gotta laugh or you’ll cry

Did you ever have one of those days? I remember in college when “one of those days” involved a flat tire, or locking my keys in the car, or maybe running out of cigarettes. There was the day I locked my keys in the car and then got rear ended by a bus. That wasn’t a great day. But these days, one of “those days” is so much. . . grosser.

Today was already starting off on iffy footing. I didn’t get much sleep last night because Thomas was up coughing and Helen, who pukes anytime her temperature rises over 99.0, was up throwing up around midnight. And then at 4am we had giant, strange dogs in our back yard barking as if the world was coming to an end. It’s a little disconcerting to discover giant, strange dogs in your back yard at 4am.

So I finally get back to sleep only to be awoken by coughing and then fell back asleep again until finally waking for good at 7am. Which, two days ago, was 6am. So I’m tired.

But I had to go to the phone store, because the microphone on my new magic phone broke. Which means I can’t make phone calls. Which doesn’t feel particularly safe when I’m home with three kids.

So even though I know they’re not in tip top shape, I head to the phone store and hope and pray for the best.  We left just minutes after cleaning up a poopy potty training accident, so I figured the timing was good. With any luck, we could get there and back without a bodily fluid incident.

I already had my new phone, I just didn’t have the tricksy little device I needed to pop out the old SIM card so I could activate my new phone. Oh Verizon, the trouble that could have been saved if you’d simply included this tiny piece of metal with my new phone.

So I pack up the three kids and tell them to try not to cough too much in public because it makes people uncomfortable. Helen is wimpering because, God bless her, she really doesn’t feel well. Thomas is provoking Henry into playing Batman, and Henry, who really, really should know better, is playing along.

Then Thomas gets worked up and starts coughing. Okay, settle down, dude. And coughing. No, really, take a deep breath. And coughing. And, oh crap, gagging, and oh, oh no, oh, vomit. Crap. Catch it in his shirt. Wait there’s more. Okay. Oh shit. Okay Helen, Henry, you stay here. Don’t move. Carry Thomas to the car, catching as much as I can in his shirt. Oh good. Now it’s on my shirt. Oh and my jeans. Yay!

Out in the parking lot I get Thomas’s shirt off of him, without getting too much puke in his hair. I pull out the frozen diaper wipes to wipe us both up as best I can and thank God that, thanks to the joys of potty training, I have an extra shirt for Thomas in the car (no pants, we’ve used up all of those). All the while I’m laughing just a bit hysterically because, well, it’s better to be the crazy lady laughing with a half naked preschooler in the strip mall parking lot than the crazy lady sobbing with a half naked preschooler in the strip mall parking lot.

So we head back in wreaking of vomit to collect my two older children and my phone. As I walk through the door the nice man hands me the tricksy little device I need to pop out the old SIM card and tells me I can go ahead and do that and someone will be right with me to activate the phone. Oh that poor someone.

I really felt like I had to explain to the nice young employee why I smelled so bad. I’m trying to laugh and make the situation as natural as possible, but we smell horrible and there’s still vomit in my kid’s hair.

To his credit, this guy was really, really nice and didn’t act disgusted at all. I joked that not only was this not the first time I’ve been puked on in public, it’s not even the first time I’ve been puked on in public by this kid.* He said, “And I thought my job was hard!” I said, “Well, you have to deal with  crazy people like us, so yeah, it is hard.” He then told me, that we aren’t the crazy people. So now I feel really sorry for the guy.

The activation process was mercifully fast and we were free to take our odious insanity home for the day. Why, God, did I think I could pull off such an advanced parenting feat as taking three sick kids to the Verizon store? Kids. They’ll keep you humble.

 

Thomas the Public Puker
Thomas the Public Puker

 

*A short list of the places Thomas has puked outside of our home: the front porch of our house, Safe Splash Swim School – in the pool, the “dining room” at Wendy’s, Chili’s, the parking lot of the grocery store. I’m sure I’m forgetting one or two.

 

 

Dandelion by Steve Weeks

Steve Weeks’ Dandelion is one of those rare CD’s that everyone in my family enjoys and whose lyrics don’t cause embarrassment when the kids serenade their grandparents.

 

 

My kids and I have memorized all of the acoustic, folksy songs, and they are so much fun to sing. Weeks has an incredible talent for creating endearing characters (Imogene, Sadie Lou), telling vivid stories (The Blizzard of ’78, My Dog Ate My House), and engaging in clever and sophisticated word play (I Might Be Lying). Plus, he wrote one of the greatest love songs I’ve ever heard. Seriously. On a kids’ CD. You can check out clips of the songs and read the lyrics here at Steve Weeks’ website. We’ve checked this out from the library many times. It might be time to invest in our own copy.

Perceptions

My sister sent me this link this morning with the note, “This video made me think of you.”

 

So of course I watched it right away.

And as I watched it, my stream-of-consciousness went something like this.

“Um. Ok. But I quit smoking when I became a mom. . . Does my sister really see me as that old and run down? I mean, I get that this is funny and I can see why it would remind her of me, but, it kinda stings a little. She could have maybe just thought of me and not told me about it.”

See, my sister is 8 years younger than me. Her first baby just celebrated his first birthday and she’s still one of those perky young moms. She doesn’t mean to, but she makes me feel really old.

Then the “yoga mom” appeared on the screen. “Oh good grief,” I thought, “surely she doesn’t mean this woman reminds her of me.”

So my sis and I had the following text exchange:

“I honestly have no idea which mom in that made you think of me. Lol. I’m not sure I want to know!”

“The yoga mom, duh 😉 lol”

“Well I’m flattered, but I’m really more the poo truck mom. ;)”

But before I texted my sister, I forwarded her text to my best friend. Who took an unforgivably long time to respond. When she did, we had this exchange:

“Lol!!! Which one are you??”

“Apparently I’m “the yoga mom, duh.”

“Oh!!! Of course. You and your yoga ways.”

Because see, my best friend, who has never made the mistake of putting me on a pedestal, knows that while I may have moments where I look something like the yoga mom,  I’m really more the poo truck mom.

So my little lesson for the day. Deep and profound so get ready for it. Even if you feel like the poo truck mom, there’s probably somebody out there who thinks you’re the yoga mom. And that yoga mom? She feels like the poo truck mom a great deal of the time.

 

 

February Burn Out

It’s that time of year. Christmas is behind us, spring seems so close and yet so far away. The winter doldrums have set in and we all feel restless. We want to shake things up. We want to breathe some life into the dreary surroundings. We want things to feel fresh and new rather than bleak and stagnant.

There are two things I always do this time of year – not intentionally, just as a result of a natural internal prompting. The first is to makeover my house. In the last couple of weeks I’ve bought a new (to me) couch, a new (to me) ottoman, a new rug, new (to me) lamps, a new shower curtain, and I’ve picked out paint colors and fabric swatches and on and on to spruce up my space. I love home makeovers on the cheap. The process revives me, and I always seem to go at it full force in January and February.

The other thing I always do in February, and I know I am not alone here, is rethink my home school. My oldest is in third grade now, and this is the first year this rethinking has not included the process of browsing local school websites.

I know lots of homeschooling moms come to February and start to think, “What am I doing? I am totally screwing this up. There is no way I’m teaching him everything he needs to know. We fight all the time. How do I know he’s learning what he needs to? I’m so tired of the daily battles! This isn’t what I thought homeschooling would be!”

I have so been there. And I will be there again, no doubt.  But since I’m not in that space at this exact moment, I want to share some encouragement for those who are – and for myself when I return there in the future!

So here are my words of encouragement to you, and to future me.

  1. You’re doing awesome. The sacrifices you are making for your children right now are huge and important and good. Homeschooling is an amazing gift you give your child even when it’s not perfect.
  2. School won’t fix it. Whatever “it” is, if your true desire is to homeschool, you can find a way to fix “it” at home. You may need to find more social opportunities – or cut back on social stuff for awhile. You may need to “buckle down” a little more with formal work – or you may need to take a break from the formal book learning and try a more relaxed, less schooly approach for awhile. You may need more discipline, or more fun, or more outside help, or to tune others out and listen just to your own voice for a bit.
  3. Sending your kid to school will not end the battles over learning. It will simply transform them into battles over homework. Do you have friends with kids in school? Do you know how much homework they have? Do you know how many projects they have? Do you know how many parent/teacher conferences, and back-to-school nights and socials and fundraisers and etc., etc., etc., you will have to attend?
  4. Even if you’re a bad teacher (and I promise you, you’re not, because if you were, you would never even have tried this whole experiment because you just wouldn’t have cared enough to suffer the headaches and heartaches), but even if you are a bad teacher, your kid is getting the benefit of one-to-one instruction. Do not underestimate the value of this! Do you ever feel torn because your’e trying to meet the need of 3 different kids? Imagine a teacher who has to meet the needs of 30 different kids. And then, in an hour, gets a whole new batch of 30 kids she has to teach. Think it’s easier because they’re all supposed to be learning the same thing? It’s not, because every single kid is different. And nobody knows your kid like you do.

If you want to homeschool, you can. You can. If you don’t want to homeschool, that’s fine. There are great schools out there! I’m not one to tell you that your kid will be forever damaged if you send them to school. I know school works for a lot of families. But you chose homeschooling for a reason. Probably for lots of reasons. If those reasons haven’t changed, and you still want to homeschool, don’t give up because you don’t think you’re good enough! You are good enough! You may need to change something, maybe just your thinking or your expectations, but maybe a new curriculum will help.

Almost certainly you need to be kinder and gentler to yourself and step back and realize that you’re doing an amazing job. Take a few minutes to write down everything you do with your kids and everything they’re learning. You’ll be amazed. Because you are doing an amazing job. I’m going to say it one more time. You are amazing. Because if you weren’t, you would never have even tried this insane experiment.

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